


Sometimes goodbye's the only way

by shanimalew



Series: Fictober 2019 [16]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fictober 2019, Happy Ending, Issues, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Armageddon, Sad Aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 16:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shanimalew/pseuds/shanimalew
Summary: They are free. Completely and utterly free.Aziraphale never thought there would be a day where this could be possible. It feels both thrilling and very, very scary.Maybe this is the reason why he is sitting on Crowley’s newly acquired couch crying his eyes off.[Fictober 2019, Day 16]





	Sometimes goodbye's the only way

**Day 16: “Listen. No, really listen.”**

They are free. Completely and utterly free.

Free from their superiors’ expectations, from their orders and from the fear of being punished.

Aziraphale never thought there would be a day where this could be possible. It feels both thrilling and very, very scary...m aybe this is the reason why he is sitting on Crowley’s newly acquired couch crying his eyes off.

He doesn’t know what triggered this reaction, he was fine minutes before, more than fine even. He and Crowley were enjoying some fine wine after a beautiful evening out, and now Crowley was in the kitchen searching for more wine when he started crying.

It’s like the weight of what happened finally came to him, three weeks after the almost Apocalypse.

Yes, he was free. Free to question Gabriel’s orders and God’s plan for humans, free to love Crowley as he was meant to do, as he should have done so many years ago.

But he is also very much alone.

No more memos from Heaven or stupid reprimands about ‘making too many frivolous miracles’, no more trips to Heaven to report his work and see all his brothers and sisters. No more direct link to them...and God.

He suddenly feels very cold.

“Sooo, I only have some...” Crowley says squinting his eyes to better read the label “Some French thingy I can’t for the life of Satan read. But it’s red, so it must be good”

Aziraphale tries to hold his sobbing but to no avail. After a couple of seconds Crowley realises the change in mood and immediately runs towards Aziraphale. He gracelessly throws the bottle on the little table and kneels in front of Aziraphale.

“Angel what’s happened? Did someone come? Are they still here?” He asks, hands fretting between them, unsure whether to touch Aziraphale or not.

The realisation that maybe someone entered without him noticing makes Crowley bolt; ready to go kill whoever threatened to even think about touching his angel.

“N..nobody is here, Crowley” the angel manages to say, still struggling to control his tears.

He feels rather pathetic, sitting like this, hands on his knees, letting the tears flow without control.

“Nobody will ever be here...I am all alone” he continues, crying even harder. Saying it out loud makes everything so real, and much more painful.

“What are you talking about? You’re not alone” 

Crowley kneels again, gently cradling the angel’s face trying to make him meet his eyes.

“I’m banned from Heaven. They tried to kill me...what am I going to do?”

“Live your life, angel. Read books and eat everything you want, like you always did. The only thing is that now you’re officially unemployed, nothing has changed”

“That’s not true! Everything’s changed!” he shouts, but immediately mumbles some ‘sorry’s, trying to calm himself.

Crowley keeps looking at him, even though Aziraphale has his eyes firmly shut, one hand petting the angel’s hair while the other keeps cradling his face. He’s dumbstruck, to say the least. Before he even has the time to gather his thoughts to try and comfort Aziraphale, the angel keeps talking.

“What am I going to do without them? I...I can’t...all my life, my existence, was for serving Heaven, serving Her...and now? What am I going to do? Who am I if I cannot be an angel?” he asks between sobs, more to the void than to Crowley himself.

A Crowley who wants nothing more than to run away and hide. Because if that’s one thing that Crowley sucks at, is comforting people...especially with words. 

“Angel, look at me please” he whispers, waiting for Aziraphale to meet his gaze before continuing. 

When he finally looks at him, Crowley feels his heart break. The angel looks utterly devastated; he never hated Heaven and its stupid angels more.

“I know it must be difficult, being this free after so long, but believe me when I say those people never deserved you. You are more than an angel they can ever dream to be, and you’ll continue to be an angel and do good deeds even without shitty Gabriel writing memos on the other side, because that’s who you are”

Aziraphale closes his eyes again, shaking his head, tears still streaming down his face. Crowley firmly stops the movement.

“Listen. Really listen. You are going to be fine, even more than fine. Because you’re clever and resourceful and, more important, you’re not alone. Because if you think that now you can get rid of me than you’re deluded. Now that I’m free from Hell’s stupid rules I’m going to spend the rest of my existence loving you, showing you that you’re more than what those angels made you believe”

Aziraphale makes a shaky laugh and Crowley smiles, feeling satisfied that he managed to make his angel laugh, even a bit.

“You’re getting sappy” Aziraphale murmurs, mouth curling in a small smile.

“That’s entirely your fault” he replies, leaving a small peck on Aziraphale’s lips “But seriously, you’re going to be fine, I know it’s hard to believe now but it will become easier with time. I won’t let anything happen to you” 

“Thank you, dear. I don’t know what I’d do without you” Aziraphale says, closing the distance again and kissing Crowley, this time more deeply. As if he wants to convey, through his kiss, all the love and gratitude he feels towards the demon.

“Feel like drinking some more wine while watching trash tv programs?” Crowley proposes, happily dropping on the couch at Aziraphale’s nod. The angel lays down, head resting on the demon’s lap; immediately Crowley’s hand finds his place in Aziraphale’s hair, gently petting it while zapping.

The angel sighs happily as Crowley starts his usual commentary.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and likes are always appreciated


End file.
